I even forgot how to post

Every once in awhile I come back, delete a few old posts, and forget I ever had a blog until next time. But it is worthwhile to remind myself how far we've come since Back Then...

I  forgot that I have a blog for awhile.

A year and three months

Yes, life is busy, with everything and nothing. Please let me know if you're reading this. I fell off the face of blogland and I can't get up!

Salamander turns 7 Sunday and gets his first Chumash!! *sniff*

I miss my house.

I miss my house.









I miss my lilacs.










I miss Ohio.

Month 2. Gut Moed!

The kinderlach are still doing great, B"H. The old sukkah is up behind the shared garage, on the shared patio. It's so weird being in our sukkah and then stepping out and NOT being in Ohio... I do miss my house... *sniff*

I LOVE being in a town with such a huge Jewish community, but I miss being familiar with my surroundings. I got a job! Really, the job found me. B"H! Part time, mommy hours, stuff I've done before, for a similar organization.

All the stuff in the financial markets has been craaaazy. Anyone else feel like Moshiach is coming REALLY soon??

Wishing anyone who happens to read this a Shana Tova, esp. that you and yours may be blessed with good health and parnassa!

JWH is now on the east coast

Hooray. Chana, Bagel and Salamander made it... We finally joined Mr. JWH after a difficult 2 month separation and even more difficult interstate move. Can't say I want to do that again anytime soon... when I moved from Mass. to Ohio, I was 14 and not actually responsible for anything.

But B"H (most of) our stuff arrived safe, WE arrived safe, and the kids have started school and are doing great B"H! Bagel is in a class of WONDERFUL girls - and I stress - girls! NO BOYS! She is VERY HAPPY ABOUT THIS!! LOL...

I found a great chiropractor, which makes me very, very happy. She (SHE! Happy dance!) sent me to a hospital to have x-rays done. This involved driving on a freeway. I've done this a few times here and I DO NOT ENJOY IT.

Summer, interminable summer

It's the last half hour of camp for the entire summer.

I should be packing, but I'm sitting at the computer in silence, glorious silence...

JWH is relocating...

That's right... after 22 years (well, 26) in Flyover Country (and literally a lifetime for Mr. JWH), we are making our way out of golus!



(Golus, lovely golus, mesmerizing,
cheaper-by-the-square-foot golus)






We'll be on the second floor of

<--here

WOOT WOOT!! Bring on Banner 17!!

This is bitterweet for me, because my dear Gramma Ruth passed away last week at the age of 89. I went to see her a couple weeks ago, basically to say goodbye because she had deteriorated so. I told her how much I loved and appreciated her and Grampa, my mom's parents, for being second parents to me - they helped raise me from a very young age.

Grampa taught me many things, including:

1) Root for the Red Sox and whoever's playing the Yankees;

2) Root for the Celtics and whoever's playing the Lakers;

3) Don't be afraid to stick your neck out when you see something going very wrong (I'll never forget walking the dog with him one day, and what an impression it made on me when he stopped some neighbor kids from being cruel to an animal).

Happy Passover from Bagel and the Driveway!

No, really!

Two years!

According to Blogger, I've been blogging for two years!

Chag Pesach Sameach!

April Fool's at THE Ohio State...

Anyone want some SNOW??????

ROTFL!!

Maybe some pics with the kinderlach later.

We're below the snow belt - but we got MORE than Cleveland!

Crazy, crazy, crazy.

obligatory January post

So, the rest of this month is going to be busier than usual. I am flying out to the northeast solo this week to spend some time with my maternal grandmother and my family. Then I come back to prepare for Shabbos, and then DH, Bagel, Salamander and I will go out to spend some time with Gramma and fam. (B"H for Skybus, frequent flyer miles, and DH's already scheduled biz trip!)

Mom (may her memory always be for a blessing) and I lived with her parents for several years when I was little, from age 2 to age 7, and Gramma has always been a second mother to me, and just as much to me after my mom passed away unexpectedly at 49.

Happy belated Hanukkah!

Hey Ez! That's a genuine ChocEmp Truffle on that ladder! :)

In memory of the Swedish Chef

'Chef Tell' Erhardt, early television chef, dies at 63

PHILADELPHIA—Friedman Paul Erhardt, a German-born cook known as "Chef Tell" who was one of America's pioneering television chefs, has died. He was 63.

Erhardt died of heart failure on Friday at his home in Upper Black Eddy, about 25 miles east of Allentown, his family said.

Erhardt's jolly personality, thick German accent and wit made him a fixture on television shows such as Regis and Kathie Lee and comedy skits on Saturday Night Live. He was also said to be the inspiration for the Swedish chef on The Muppet Show.

BoSox in Four, Baby!!!

Courtesy of boston.com :



Michael Frazier of Hoboken, N.J., sent in this to illustrate Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani's switch-hitter baseball loyalties.

L'Shana Tova!

Wow, It's been awhile since I posted, LOL.

So, in our shul the little kids go running up to the bima at the end of davening to sing Adon Olam. Salamander (4.5) was up there in front of everyone, holding himself (he had to GO) and doing a step-kick.

Charming, LOL.

Salamander on Cleveland Heights

In Cleveland Heights this summer, at night, three times I have observed The Other Black-and-White-Adorned Residents! ;)

I have to say, I don't think I've seen a single one in a "wild" OR urban area since I moved from the Cleveland metropolitan area 20+ years ago!

Jack: not a WORD! ;)

Carnival of Bagel Quotes

I was sifting through a bunch of old emails, and came across a bunch of quotes I'd saved by my now-8 year old daughter, "Bagel". :)

December 2003, age 4.5
"I can't get it. It makes my brains all sweaty."
(5 minutes later) "Look! My brains aren't all sweaty anymore!"

"Mommy - I love my daddy's $10 shoes! I LOVE them!" (quote from the book Caps For Sale, I think)

"I need some salad to help me relax."

In the car on the way to preschool she said, "Mommy, my Madeline doll is broken." I said, it is?
She said, "Yeah, it needs batteries."
Honey, your Madeline doll doesn't need batteries.
"Then how am I going to get it to walk and talk?"
I chuckled and said, she doesn't really do those things - you have to use your imagination and pretend.
"Mommy, can I pretend she has batteries?"

March 2004, almost 5
"I'm not ready to be a grownup. I'm not ready to be an adult. It's not fair. Mommy's too short."

"Thanks, Mom, I really appreciate that." (an unexpected flash of adult thinking)

In the car on the way home from delivering shalach manos-
"Mom, do you know how much I love you?"

"I'm NOT a jelly bean. Don't call me jelly bean!"

"I wish I had a baby sister I REALLY want a baby sister and I want to name her (Bagel) and she can have a haircut like me and..."

"Mom, do you like rubber chickens?"

"I'm not a kitty - I'm just a human."

April 2004 - Bagel turns 5 this month! - Salamander is 18 months...
"Salamander's my brother. He doesn't know very much."
"I could teach him to fly a kite. But I'll need to get a kite first."

police responding to swordfight report find Shakespeare in the park, instead

Thursday, August 2, 2007 9:22 AM

KETTERING, Ohio (AP) — Romeo slays Tybalt for killing his friend, Mercutio.

Ah, Shakespeare.

Police in this Dayton suburb responded to a report of a swordfight in a public park Tuesday night. They found actors rehearsing a scene from “Romeo and Juliet.”

“Nobody was hurt, except for us from laughing so hard once we figured out why the police, an ambulance and a fire truck pulled up with sirens flashing,” said Dawn Roth-Smith, co-directer of the outdoor production by Playhouse South that opens Saturday.

“Somebody driving by must have seen our rehearsal but missed the big green sign we have up for our play,” Roth-Smith said. “I apologized to the officer for bringing them out for no reason.

He told me I should tell my actors they're doing a great job.”

Beware reports of witches in the park when the same group rehearses “Macbeth” next summer.

Wish I had my bassoon handy last time this happened...

They are buskers at London's Covent Garden. Comments from YouTube: "It's so nice to see musicians - or any serious artists for that matter - demand respect for their work." "No one should be able to interrupt Carmen."

My assessment: It's a great gag, but a sloppy and unbalanced performance. ;)

Hat tip: Jack

Salamander on bathtime

DH had been in the shower forever, we had to be somewhere at 10:15, it was 9:45, I had to get the sitter, and Salamander needed a bath.

me: Go tell Daddy you need a bath.

Salamander ran into the bathroom: "Daddy! I need a bath! Can't you see the sign with the bathtub on it?!"

Then he sat in the bathtub while the water ran, yelling,

"It's not enough water.
It's not enough water!
It's not enough water!!
It's not enough water!!"

.

Salamander on Kashrut

(Salamander is our 4.5 y.o. son)

Me to The Daddy down the basement steps: 'Where's the knife you just used to cut the pizza?'

'Oh, sorry. I put the knife in the dairy dishwasher.'

(We don't have one. I heard wrong - he said dish water!)

'What? You put it _where_??'

'oh, sorry, I thought you said dairy dishwasher.'

Salamander came running from the living room and yelled down the basement steps: 'No, Daddy! The dishwasher is MEAT!'

I'm going to show this to my kids someday.

Be happy with your lot.



Hat tip: Ezzie

Hey Jack! Cleveland Rocks!!

Aaaah, the glory days of the Celtics! I graduated from high school outside of Cleveland in 1986*, but I grew up in Massachusetts. That was one glorious spring!!

Not only have I seen the parquet floor of the old Boston Gahden, but my high school graduation was held in Richfield Coliseum (both of which are no longer with us).

Hmmm... My high school band marched at halftime at a Browns-Raiders (THE REAL BROWNS, TYVM!) game in Browns Stadium... but I've been to Jacobs Field and it's still standing! LOL...

*my (secular) birthday is this Shabbos. Anyone remember what I turned last year? It was a riddle ;)

Woohoo!!

GO CAVS!!!!!!!!!!

Salamander dancing

When I first turned on this CD today, Salamander came running and said, "You hear that music? It's called shalaseudas!" (The choir is Shalsheles Jr.!)

The Salamander and kosher Mentos

Hooray! I get to post about the Salamander AND kosher Mentos! :)

I gave Salamander and Bagel permission to share some pink grapefruit Mentos (which I can't stand), and Salamander came up to me and said, "What's the bracha for Mentos?"

I could eat him up. (minus the pink grapefruit Mentos!)

~

Oh... (blinking)... I guess I was on a break...

Hello. Things got busy there for a couple weeks. (Scratching head) The JIBs are STILL going on???

Salamander, my 4.5 year old, thanks to whatever was discussed in playgroup today, decided that he's going to call us by our Hebrew names. So now I'm Ima and he's Avi. Too cute. (His actual Hebrew name is longer than his English name, so I went with brevity.)

"Ima, do you know what exhilarating means?"
"Um... exciting?"
"No. Super-DUPER EXTRA exciting!"

It took me a few minutes to get signed in to write this, and by then I'd forgotten exactly what he said. So I went into the other room and said, "What does 'exhilarating' mean again?"

Confidently but deliberately, he said, "super, duper, extra exciting."

(Yes, I let him watch Pinky Dinky Do and some others on Noggin. He cracks me up.)

~

Another blow to the arts in Pakistan

Pakistan bans satire about burqas

POSTED: 8:56 a.m. EDT, April 26, 2007
ISLAMABAD, Pakistan (Al-Reuters) -- Irate Islamist lawmakers have persuaded the Pakistan government to stop a theatre group staging a satirical play about the burqa, the all-covering head-to-toe garment worn by conservative Muslim women.

"Burqavaganza" played earlier this month during an arts festival in Lahore, the eastern city regarded as Pakistan's cultural capital, and home to some of the most liberal and most puritanical parts of the Muslim nation's society.

"The burqa is part of our culture. We can't allow anyone to ridicule our culture," Culture Minister Sayed Ghazi Gulab Jamal told the National Assembly.

The minister announced Thursday that the government had barred the play, which had already ended its run in Lahore, from being performed in other Pakistani cities.

Veiled female parliamentarians and Islamist lawmakers cheered Jamal and thumped desks in approval, while trading barbs with women from both the ruling party and liberal opposition parties.

Described by critics as a romp, the play sought to highlight the impact of the veil on society, by showing how wearers use it as a way to hide what they want to keep private.

In the play, young men and women wore the burqa to go out on secret dates, and it featured a character called Burqa bin Badin.

The play also showed a burqa-clad married couple put to death for making love in public.

Predictably, religious conservative Pakistanis did not find it funny, going as far as to describe the play as blasphemous, a crime in Pakistan that can carry a death sentence.

"They have committed blasphemy against the Prophet (Mohammad)," Razia Aziz, a female lawmaker from the Islamist opposition alliance, told the National Assembly.
She demanded the government take action against people responsible for staging "Burqavaganza".

Mehnaz Rafi, a lawmaker for the ruling Pakistan Muslim League from Lahore, opposed the government giving in to the Islamists.

"A few people cannot dictate affairs of the state. Every person has the right to lead his life his own way. A few people cannot snatch freedom from society," Rafi said.

Shahid Nadeem, the director of the play, told the weekly Friday Times that the play aimed to raise awareness about a trend to force women to wear the veil.

Progressive Pakistanis have become increasingly shocked by how bold religious radicals have become in spreading their Taliban-style values in society.

Last month, burqa-clad female students from an Islamic school, or madrasa, raided a brothel in the capital, Islamabad, and abducted three women. The women were released only after they were made to repent before the media.

Students from Lal Masjid, or Red Mosque, and its adjoining madrasa have also pressured music and video shop owners to wind up their businesses as part of their anti-vice campaign.

PTSD from Pesach?

I don't want to be asked how my Yom Tov was. It was long and traumatizing. When I say I'm very happy it's over, I don't want to see the looks of horror and watch people tiptoe away silently (OK, I'm being a bit of a drama queen here). I can handle the spiritual work and can immerse myself in it completely - it's the physical work that makes me cry.

Did anyone read the Dear Abby-type letter in the current Jewish Press from a man whining that his wife needs to remember that "men have needs too" after a day of cleaning and preparing for Pesach etc.?? That maybe if they just "gave the man some attention" at the end of the day, they wouldn't be tempted to commit the aveira of buying porn etc.?? (I am paraphrasing very loosely here!)

Try taking the money you spend on that filth and using it to hire a CLEANING LADY so your wife might be SLIGHTLY LESS THAN DEAD at the end of her fifth day in a row of cleaning up a year of your chometz!!!!

Don't get me STARTED.

Here's another hint, from the beach!

from here, due east is the northern border of Portugal.

It was windy, it was cold, and we went to four others and had a great time!

So. Where were we?

Guess where we've been instead of cleaning for Passover?!

No, really. Bagel and I were just gone for 3 days. We went to see a family member who is moving overseas, but while we were there, we went here. Who knows where "here" is?





(The sign below the Rt 6 sign is key - click on the pic)

Rental Car Riddle

When is a door not a door?

Hint:

Oh, Look!

There's a piece of popcorn on the floor!

*yawn*

Ugh! I am SO busy getting ready for Pesach, I just

don't have time to post!

Salamander on Jewish Music, Boys and Fathers

In the car we usually have two or three CDs of Jewish music - Yeshiva Boys Choir, Shalsheles Jr. (boys), Moscow Jewish Choir (men), or some combination thereof.

A couple of the MJC songs are sung by very high male voices (falsetto) and Salamander thought they were boys (which I didn't understand right away). When a new song came on yesterday, he said, "No! I want the Jewish boys!"

Since I wasn't paying attention, I said, "Do you want me to put on Kol Hamispalel?" (The first song on the YBC CD)

"No! I want to listen to the Jewish Boys!"

"OK..." (this went back and forth a few times) Finally out of frustration, Salamander said, "I want to listen to the Jewish BOYS! I don't WANT to listen to Jewish fathers!"

Midvale! II

I work very part-time in a small office. I like to be there when no one's around, so I actually get stuff done, LOL.

So I was at work late last night, after Maariv. Time to leave - absolutely, positively could NOT find my keys. Didn't throw them away, etc. So, for the 2% in municipal tax I pay for the privilege of working in this self-important 'burb, I called the PD and asked them to come help me look in the parking lot since I didn't have a flashlight.

They were out there, all right. In the ignition. Safely locked in the car, LOL. Oops...

Flashback to October

I came across something interesting at Toner Mishap (my first visit there) that I just had to abscond with for my own personal amusement... click on the label "a LOT of hot air" to read it. :)

A great missionary-busting story (actually, two)

Must Gum Addict has a great comment at Jack And The Missionary. I can only link you to the comments section he posted to, but not the actual comment (at 2/09/2007 08:40:00 AM). And I can't even link you to his blog, because he doesn't have one (a wandering J-blogger?).

I went to yeshiva in the Midwest (no, not Cleveland, but close enough) and one two such fellas knocked on the dorm house and we let them in. We even made them tea. Then three of us sat down with them and the fun began. There was one bochur in our yeshiva who actually knew a lot about not only their religion, but many (like real in depth stuff) -- and he really took them on a whirlwind tour.

I felt sorry for those two when they finally left about an hour later. The look on their faces was like when a child finds out that Santa Claus isn't real after all...

The BEST part? When they got up to leave, the bochur said, "hey, you forgot your Bible..." and one replied, "that's ok, I don't think I'll be needing it..."

Haveil Havalim #106 - let's try to rent a bassoon in Nahariya

The Terrible Twos edition at Jack's...

Since Jack loves to diss Cleveland (but will settle for dissing Ohio), he couldn't resist my Weather Forecast for Hell.

Treppenwitz has a great story... Renting a cello in Israel

For our next trick, let's try to rent a bassoon in Nahariya. (I did this just to get my trackback to stand out, but it's not working, LOL.)

Got bassoons? In Israel I'd have a better chance of harvesting a didjeridoo, LOL...

Actually, check this out. How cool is this? The Israel Kibbutz Orchestra
.

Salamander writing shapes

Yes, I said that write!



I finally figured out what he said!

"And the t... and the r... and the i... *sigh*... I love lower case..."

Salamander sings Yiru just like YBC

See?

YBC sings Yiru (#3)

Salamander:

Salamander in Target / Lysdexics Rejoice

The kids and I were in Target a couple days ago, and as I was paying at the register, Salamander said, "What's this?"

"What's what, honey?"

"THIS!" (This thing I'm pointing to, Mama? If I knew, Mama, why would I ask? I'm four and your son, remember?)

I looked over and saw that he was pointing to the side of the shopping cart where it says "Target".

I said, "Oh. You tell me - sound it out."

And he did! "Tarrrr - get! Target!"

Mama and big sister Bagel were very proud of him. :)



In other news: I have turned word verification off.

:)

SNOW DAYS!!

Well, not really. Two "too cold to be outside in the morning" days and one snow day.

So Bagel, Salamander and I went to visit friends a couple hours away in a city that is just as cold but has more snow. :) Their dad was on the east coast on business until last night anyhow, so it was an especially tempting opportunity to get out of Dodge!

We went to the science center (took Bagel's little friend, ummm... Salami) and a children's museum (Salami had to go back to school, but my kids had a blast).

Got home at 1am this morning. I had no business driving home last night, but Bagel DID have to go to school this morning, and she gets to leave early for a dentist appointment.

My 2000 Sienna has been voicing its displeasure with the persistent below-freezing weather. It won't start in the morning, or if it's been sitting outside for a few hours (like at the Children's Museum, ugh...) But if I push in and release the emergency brake it tends to wake up. Since I had an incident about a month ago where the van wouldn't turn off (OFF!), my dad thinks it's part of the key something or other (not the ignition). I don't think I want to go so far away from home with the kids again until it's fixed...

Life in the big city, LOL.

Weather Forecast for Hell

Oh, dear. Guess what hath frozen over?

Watch your back: it could be a good week for ex-boyfriends (or other exes), business rivals, mothers-in-law, Dick Cheney, etc.

Someone tell Baltimore they're in the Super Bowl!

Look right under the picture in each screen shot, and the posting time... you may need to click on the images (I made them as big as I could)...

OK. I'm just messing now.

Post #2 using old Blogger. ;)

Too bad I have nothing interesting to say. Well, that's not really true. I just can't post it. ;)

Nyeah nyeah - I can still post in old Blogger!

Whoever said you can't, lied!


pppfffffbbbbtttttttt

The Scream Heard 'Round the World

This morning I went to our kosher market to get stuff for Shabbos, and there was a full-size semi parked in front. When I was done shopping, I asked the cashier where another worker was. "oh, he's out front unloading the Passover Truck."

NOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOO

Indexed!

This blog is so clever - a must read!

At last they meet! Cool Yiddishe Mama and Jewess With Horns!

The Salamander on Sun and Snow

We got a dusting of snow this morning, but the sun came out and the snow had melted off the roads.

"Oh-Oh! The sun is covering up the snow!"

Quoth the blogger, `Evermore!'

Wow. Kudos to the only way i know, who has written a blogger's tribute to Edgar Allen Poe in honor of his and Kasamba's* birthdays. A must read!

Hat tip: Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie

*whose posts are no small potatoes either!

The Salamander Speaks Again

I was just in the basement checking laundry, and the Salamander was screaming down the stairs something I couldn't hear because of the noise of the machines, and I kept yelling, " I can't hear you, I'll be right back up!"

When I got up the stairs he said, "I love you."

I said, "I love you, too."

He said, "I just very, very love you."

I said, "You are my sweet boy!"

He said, "I want a bread and cream cheese sandwich with two pieces toasted on a napkin."

I said, "Can you say 'please'?"

Who can make this stuff up?

Lean On Me

Have a friend right up the road you can call? Are you a friend like this to someone? This makes me cry. (But I'm that way too.)

Lean On Me - Billy Withers




Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow.
But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.
Lean on me when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long
'til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.

Please swallow your pride
if I have things you need to borrow.
For no one can fill those of your needs
that you won't let show.

You just call on me brother when you need a hand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.

Lean on me when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long
'til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.

You just call on me brother when you need a hand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.

If there is a load you have to bear that you can't carry,
I'm right up the road. I'll share your load if you just call me.

Call me (if you need a friend)
Call me...

Happy Hanukkah...edited

I've made some videos private and others just taken out completely. Sorry. I do this every once in awhile when I realize I have TMI up. I have a couple reasons in particular this time, one being I've never had someone find me by searching Google for "how to k i l l a jewess" before.

Charming.

Thanks to those of you who looked and enjoyed!

Rant: There is no such thing as Judeo-Christian

OK. I am with Jack. This time of year makes me cranky.

Any other time of the year, the word "Judeo-Christian" makes my roll my eyes at the very least - while the basic premise may be that of "inclusiveness" or "tolerance" (or, let's face it, "marketing"), IMNSHO it's preferable and more intellectually honest to write "Jewish and/or Christian".

But having just seen a reference to "Judeo-Christian holidays", I am feeling the need...

A person, because of his/her parentage or immigration status, can be Israeli-American, Russian-American, African-American, etc. A person can feel strong bonds to their ancestry or place of birth and also their adopted country.

But a person can only practice one religion (and be intellectually honest about it).

"Judeo-Christian holidays"? Let's see, at this time of year, those would be... Hanukkah and Christmas.

Hanukkah is about the Jewish victory over the Greeks. It was our victory over assimilation. The Greeks wanted to wipe out the Jews.

Christmas is about the birth of the Christian deity, who Christians actively recruit non-Christians, especially Jews, to worship. I mean, that is Christian doctrine - no matter what kind of Christian theology you're talking about, they believe you're going to hell if you don't believe in Jesus. Jews are still (as always) fighting our battle for survival because Christians, too, ultimately want to wipe out the Jews.

So, when I, as a Jew, hear "Judeo-Christian", excuse me for wanting to hurl.

(donning my asbestos underwear)

(I reserve the right to dispose of nasty comments - it's still my blog)

BTW, Bagel's concert is a selection in

The 2006 Blogger Christmahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert!

Bagel's Choir Concert Today!

She is in the 2nd-5th grade choir at our city's Orthodox day school. They performed at the Statehouse today! She is in the front row, third from the right. Her little brother Salamander also makes a cameo, LOL.

This clip is "Ocho Candelikas" and "Light a Candle".

(sorry - time for some housecleaning!)

Karaoke With The Salamander

The kids listen to this all the time in the car - he would have sung much louder if I had been singing instead of lip synching!

Hey Ezzie - there's a message for you at about the 2.5 minute mark ;)

(sorry - housecleaning time! Besides, my blog's been getting a ton of hits for the name of the song, which I think is weird)

OK, OK, OK!!!!!

I know. I resemble this video. LOL!! :)

Salamander Davening?!

If you saw it... it was cute :)

Hila tagged me - and it's a doozie, LOL

Toooooooooo much information!!!

Salamander on hair

"I'm having a bad hair day!"

Shavua tov

I just wanted to put something up. I did force myself to go to shul today. It was a nice sunny day, but reeeally cold. I'm just glad we don't have snow yet!

More news

Grandma died around 9:15 this morning. She was a happy, gentle, kind soul. I loved her dearly and will always carry with me many special memories of her from my childhood and beyond.

Family News

My uncle died Saturday afternoon in Massachusetts. I got the call Sunday morning. (They "forgot" to call me Saturday night. Thanks.) Half the family here left Saturday afternoon and arrived there Sunday morning.

Sunday afternoon, the nursing home where Grandma is (here) called my dad's to say that family should come immediately. What family is left that didn't go to Mass., including me (they actually called me this time, shock), went up. (My uncle who died is Grandma's son-in-law.)

By the time I got done yelling at my husband for taking both sets of keys with him, a friend showed up to give me a ride to see Grandma. She is not really conscious. She is 90 and has Alzheimer's and cancer. Add some rough family dynamics on top of that and it's just a whole "thing". (And none of them are Jewish, don't forget...) Already the behavior of some of these people has me feeling like *I* need to admit myself to detox.

So, I won't be around so much...

Wanna hear me play the bassoon?

Well, someday, when I figure out how to post MP3 files, you just may, LOL.

Blogger 1, Chana 0.

Midvale!!

So, a couple weeks ago, I ran into a friend at Borders, and when I turned around to leave through what I throught was the exit, I instead found myself in a dead end of windows and bookshelves.

I probably turned ten shades of red, and do you think my friend had mercifully turned around and walked away and missed my flaming faux pas? Noooo.

I turned around, said "Midvale!" (because that's what my husband and I have done for years whenever we've done something stupid), and there stood my friend, staring at me with the goofiest grin, which I returned as I tried to muster some shred of dignity and leave before someone noticed my shirt tag stuck out or the toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe...


Cartoon hat tip: SWFM

Happy 4th Birthday Salamander!!

Momma Loves You!!




The number of the day is... FOUR!
Bagel lost tooth #4 this morning!

We saw Blue Man Group!! (link)

And "Met" All 3 of Them After The Show!!!!

It was great - they were totally in character at the meet and greet. They did not speak, but "signed" ticket stubs, drum sticks (like mine - they dropped a whole bunch of stuff like that off the stage - you had to be there) with blue paint from their heads! There were even a few kids, and the Blue Men were patient with all.

Pictures and Meet and Greet passes courtesy of Jan and Andy from Indianapolis, a couple we met who were across the aisle. They noticed how much we were enjoying the show. Yes, we just about fell over when they offered the passes to us!
We also met Peter Moore, who sings Sing Along, one of my favorite brooding BMG tunes... ba da, da, da... da da, da, da.... we actually had a very interesting discussion about the GIG PIG. Yeah, LOL. It is a new contraption that was used during Tracy Bonham's set by the drummer. It's basically a portable drum set. It has 3 or 4 cymbals that telescope up from a box with 3 or 4 drum heads that looked about the size of small practice pads, maybe. We assumed it's electronic, but it's not. That was the most amazing part to us - it's actually a box that they set up mikes next to, but the amount of equipment to schlep in and out is shrunk down to almost nothing!

Chana has found food and entertainment in/and possibly Gan Eden

Tags: Mentos Blue Man Group
Hey, Ezzie! I found it first this time

"This is the video that is played before Blue Man Group's stage entrance on the How To Be A Megastar Tour 2.0. I features Blue Man Group music, with the guys from Eepybird performing some stunning Mentos and soda experiments."

I was getting drinks when they started playing this, and my husband called me and yelled at me on my cell phone, LOL!




Previous Diet Coke and Mentos posts:

The relatively new one, thanks to Ezzie (bowing deeply)

The Catholic Church weighs in on nutrition issues regarding Diet Coke and Mentos

Our original plan and a link to the original, super-dee-duper, what-began-it-all video at eepybird.com

First, some prep... (because, after all, this was a well-planned operation)

Heh heh - We Did It! (Interesting how the kosher ones are probably best eaten!)

Diet Coke and Mentos with the Neighbors Part 2 - Boooooooo

A Side Note: Pink Grapefruit Mentos are disgusting. I don't care if they're kosher.

Fiiiiinally!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's only been 9.5 years since the first one...

Mazel tov to us! :)

Memo to fellow Americans: GO VOTE TODAY!!!!

If you don't, you have no right to complain about politics, and I don't want to hear it.

New Mentos and Diet Coke video

Yes, I am slipping... I only found this because of EZZIE!

The obsession continues, LOL!

UPDATE: I HAVE KOSHER MENTOS!!! If it weren't so flipping cold outside, I'd do it again! (This link is to the June archive; there are five posts about our Diet Coke and Mentos escapades on our driveway. Yes, we and the neighbors had Way Too Much Fun (TM).)



Hat Tip: Rafi G via Ezzie

Guess Where We Went Today!

(I got the stuck parking meter! Woohoo!)



Salamander had the best time tailing Uncle Moishy during the parade - and I couldn't tell you where Bagel was - there were at least 5 families from our city at the concert, so she may have gone off to find some friends for all I know!

I don't know if the last pic does Salamander justice - he has quite a mischievous look on his face!

NEW URL!

FrumpyChic has been dumped! ;)

I am now Jewess With Horns (no spaces) (dot) blogspot (dot) com (which you can see if you are reading this!).

I have such a small readership that I am not worried about the word getting out, LOL...

I've been wanting to do this for some time, but AbbaGav's post about blog names finally pushed me into doing it!

Uncle Moishy THIS SUNDAY!!!!!!!

I just found out that we are in driving distance of an Uncle Moishy show THIS SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!

wahoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Salamander Speaks

The Salamander just sidled up to me and said, "You're my best friend!"

Of course, I gave him a hug and saw, "awwww... you're mine too!"

"Yeah, you, and Daddy, and (Bagel)!"

He is my sweet boy.

Actually, I think he just really wanted to use the computer, LOL...


I have been AWOL ... a lot has been distracting me from blogland... I am so drained from waiting to hear about the next and final step... I know that it is in Hashem's hands (and three rabbis, honestly now!)... but that doesn't make the waiting any easier...

I love Simchas Torah!!!!

...but I have to tell you, I'm glad it's all over!!

Poll: Is second grade old enough for a sleepover?

I realize this will be completely unscientific and anecdotal since my readership is small, but that's OK. My 7.5 yo daughter "Bagel" has been invited to a birthday sleepover by a classmate she's known since preschool. Bagel is excited about it, but truthfully, I'm not fond of this girl - she's allowed to be too mouthy to her parents, and Bagel has come home talking about "Fashion" stuff they've talked about that IMHO is too old for them.

What do you think?

Sent to me by email

I have CDO. It's like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, only in alphabetical order like it should be.

L'Shana Tova 5767

Shalom chaverim! I hope you had a good Yom Tov. I slept through most of mine. No, I'm not kidding. I have been utterly exhausted. I have been a bit anemic for awhile, but my latest labs were much better. The sheer amount of stress I've been under lately is utterly ridiculous. DH said, "I haven't seen you sleep this much since you were pregnant!" It's STRESS, buddy. Get off my case! (Hmmm, snapping at spouse. Check.)

Grape Nuts and Trail Mix Grape Nuts (if it's called that) have the most iron of any type of food I've found per serving, and it's definitely the easiest delivery system, LOL. Yep, me and my nuts and twigs. Yippee. I have lost five pounds. Not that you can tell. LOL.

To everyone, a happy, healthy, prosperous New Year. And, to paraphrase a quote from Sara Yocheved Rigler's current article on aish.com: "...if, as Rosh Hashana draws near, we realize to our chagrin that we have few spiritual achievements to report, it's still not too late. The ten days between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, called "The Ten Days of Repentance," are an ideal time to score some spiritual goals. The deadline for submissions to our spiritual alum magazine is Yom Kippur."

Video Of The Day - Diapers

blah blah

Rant about airlines and deodorant

OK. I understand that the airlines are trying to prevent what almost happened over the Atlantic from happening.

BUT.

My husband was out of town on business all week. His flight was delayed twice Friday before being canceled.

He stood in line with everyone else who was trying to get on the 8:30pm flight... only he was just trying to get his luggage and get out of there so he could get on the commuter rail to spend Shabbat with a family we know, BEFORE candlelighting.

They refused to release his luggage, and by the time he'd stood in line and been abused (like everyone else) by the employees, he didn't have time to catch the train.

He spent $100 and an hour in a cab to get to his Shabbat destination, with TWO MINUTES to spare before candlelighting!! (B"H!!)

He got home yesterday at 6:30pm... the kids were ecstatic, and I was mostly relieved.

Since he had no toiletries (or clean clothes for that matter), Motzei Shabbat he went to CVS and bought some. His host family was kind enough to make him as comfortable as possible, of course.

But when he flew home, security made him THROW AWAY the deodorant he had purchased the night before and used once or twice. That he HAD to purchase because they refused to release his luggage. Etc. etc...

&^#^#*%+$)$%_(*$%

All Your Fakes Are Belong To Us

Jawa went and did it. YEAH!



Hat tip: LGF

They're going BAAAA-aaaack!!

It's the most wonderful time of the year!



It's the first day of school!

Israel Shelves Plan to Pull Out Of Settlements In West Bank

GOOD.

Read the whole article here...

JERUSALEM, Aug. 22 -- The Israeli government's plan to dismantle some Jewish settlements in the West Bank and redraw the country's borders is being shelved at least temporarily, a casualty of the war in Lebanon, government officials said.

The plan, which propelled Prime Minister Ehud Olmert to victory in March elections and was warmly endorsed by President Bush as a way of solving Israel's conflict with the Palestinians, is no longer a top priority, Olmert told his ministers last weekend, according to one of his advisers.

Instead, the government must spend its money and efforts in northern Israel to repair the damage from the war and strengthen the area in case fighting breaks out again, Olmert said.

"I've decided to invest most of my energy and the government's energy in rehabilitating the north," Olmert said Monday in the northern community of Kiryat Shemona.

"This is a national new priority. It takes precedence for the moment over realignment" of the settlements, Miri Eisin, an adviser to Olmert, said Tuesday. "At the moment there will be no withdrawal."

My Happy Place

Where the sky is blue, the grass is green, the humidity is low, the kids are fed, the tempii are moderate, the reeds are working, and the bassoonists are happy and NOT playing Bruckner or Beethoven #4.



Ahhh... this is awesome! I am not in this recording, but it brings back memories of my college days... I only had the chance to play bassoon trios my freshman year. I am going to try to get my junior and senior recitals transferred from tape to CD before they turn to dust in the basement.

Wicked Cool!! Two Contrabassoons!!

"And now, for something Completely Different!"

The 2 Contras - Susan Nigro and Burl Lane

Sample Tracks - If you listen to nothing else - check out the Impish Imp - what a riot!

Yes, this is the kind of stuff I listened to in college. No, the underclassmen had no idea I also liked classic rock. Yes, my classmates thought I was weird.

It's not the hand cream, stupid

or the contact lens solution, or the mascara, or the Chanel perfume, or the baby powder, in the diaper bag carried by the sweating WASP mother dragging three kids under 5 through Logan.

It's the RADICAL ISLAMISTS WHO WANT TO KILL US.

Sorry. Not PC. But geez people, they've told us as much. Do you think they're joking? Wake up, America. We've got our own Gaza, and it's in Dearborn. OUT!!

Racial profiling? Yeah. They only want to kill non-Muslims. I'd call that racial profiling.

I admit it. I'm racist.

Paraphrased from the comments section of LGF (I think):

Yeah, I'm an Islamophobe. When blonde blue-eyed Scandinavians start blowing up airplanes, I'll become a Lutheranophobe.

HA! - Another fake Hajj pic exposed

I feel like I'm talking to myself. No one's coming here to read anything! Go look at Jameel's blog or littlegreenfootballs!

Definitions:Taqiyya and Reutering

Taqiyya refers to Islam-permitted lying in order to promote their goal. Thus it is done all the time, and, of course, denied. Their goal is to destroy Israel, all Jews, and then all the rest of western civilization.
Reutering: What someone committing Taqiyya is doing. I think they are reutering through their teeth...

Hat Tip: Go find it yourself

Reuters Pulls Phony Photo

Reuters admits altering Beirut photo

Well, THAT picture was just a little too obvious to get away with.

"Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience caused by exposing the blatant Anti-Israel bias that's been exhibited by the MSM since, well, 1948..."

Ironically (and stunningly, to me), according to Wikipedia, Reuters was started by a German Jew in the 1840s.

The Big Difference

.



Hat Tip: Ozzie

Oh - I can eat now!

And make it To Go!

A hysterical prank on a Burger King in Beirut

Hat Tip: Bang It Out Blog

I submitted this rant somewhere

And it probably won't get posted, and it was a lot of effort, so I'm posting it here.

While we're quoting UN resolutions, you left one out: According to UN Security Council Resolution 1559, it is the responsibility of the Lebanese government to disarm Hezbollah and to assert Lebanese sovereignty in southern Lebanon.

Well, now that Al-Qaida has called for jihad on the rest of the world (you think they wouldn't kill you too?), maybe it IS time for Israel to use some REAL "disproportionate force".

It's time for Israel to DEMAND that the Western media expose to the world the fake Palestinian riots and funerals, the truth about Hezbollah hanging out with UN "monitors" (who are often spies from unfriendly countries), and NOT STAND for ANY MORE "here and there" rockets that the Western world never hears about, and kidnappings that the terrorists expect to use to trade for 400 terrorist prisoners sitting in Israeli jails.

Oh, the poor Palestinians. A year after Israel handed over Gaza, have the Palestinians gotten busy creating their utopian state? Natch! Utopia for terrorists maybe - they have squandered their opportunity to show the world they were serious about creating their own state. Anyone still living in a "refugee camp" should lose their refugee status, and Arab countries - primarily Jordan - should be forced to grant them citizenship.

Look at a map - Arab countries are the size of the U.S. and they can't STAND that Israel exists - but it's the size of NEW JERSEY.

EXPOSED: Ezzie's a registered DEMOCRAT?!

I couldn't make this stuff up. Read about it here, in the comments, at 7/26/2006 10:50:32 PM!!

Oh, and he had a birthday yesterday. Happy birthday, young man. ;)

I just like reading it

We will have peace when our enemies love their children more than they hate ours. - Golda Meir

If the Arabs put down their weapons today there would be no more violence.
If the Israelis put down their weapons today there would be no more Israel.

CNN Reports: Medieval book of psalms unearthed

"HaShem to Earth: If I have you dig it out of the ground, and it's in Latin, will you pay attention THEN???"

First millennium manuscript, open to Psalm 83, found in Irish mud

The book was found open to a page describing, in Latin script, Psalm 83, in which God hears complaints of other nations' attempts to wipe out the name of Israel.

Psalms to say daily in response to the crisis in Israel:

20, 83, 121, 130, 142

How's THIS for a surprise?

Chayyei Sarah points out what a pain-in-the-tuchas little brother Hezballah is... I'd like to take a number to get in line to break his bleeping leg... oh, but that's not PC of me, is it?

Hezballah: poke-poke-poke

Israel: Cut it out!

Hezballah: poke-poke-poke

Israel: I'm serious, cut it out!

Hezballah: poke-poke-poke

[Israel slaps Hezballah]

Hezballah to Lebanon: Mom! He hit me!

Lebanon: Stop whining. I have other things to deal with.

Hezballah: poke-poke-poke

[Israel slaps Hezballah again]

Hezballah: You wanna piece of me? Come and get it.

America: Stop that fighting back there! Hezballah, try to stop poking, OK? You're bothering your mum. And you, Israel, keep your hands to yourself.

Israel: Yes, dad.

Hezballah: poke-poke-poke

[Israel slaps Hezballah again]

Hezballah: Mom! He hit me again!

Lebanon [distracted]: mm hmm

Hezballah: poke-poke-poke

[Israel punches Hezballah in the face, drawing blood]

Hezballah, touching his nose and then staring at the blood: Oh Sh*t! What did you do that for?

(From the Yahoo article: "He said Hezbollah had expected "the usual, limited response" from Israel after the two soldiers were seized by guerrillas on Israel's side of the border on July 12")

The Great Egret

A large white heron, the Great Egret is found across much of the world, from southern Canada southward to Argentina, and in Europe, Africa, Asia, and Australia. It's the largest egret in the Old World, and thus has garnered the name Great White Egret. But in the Americas, the white form of the Great Blue Heron is larger and warrants that name. In the United States, the Great Egret used to be called the American Egret but that was hardly appropriate, since the species range extends beyond America and indeed farther than other herons.

Cool Facts

The Great Egret is the symbol of the National Audubon Society, one of the oldest environmental organizations in North America. Audubon was founded to protect birds from being killed for their feathers.

Description
topSize: 94-104 cm (37-41 in)
Wingspan: 131-145 cm (52-57 in)
Weight: 1000 g (35.3 ounces)

Bill yellow with dark top edge.
Long plumes on back during breeding.
No crest or plumes on head.
In high breeding, the bill becomes orange-yellow and the lores become lime-green.

Foraging
Walks slowly, stands and stabs prey with quick lunge of the bill. (We witnessed this - very cool!)

On the disengagement from Gaza

A point of view I hadn't previously considered, spotted on DovBear's blog. (emphasis mine)

I have no intelligence either, seemingly, because I agree with db. Who knows, in fact, if this pullout has ensured the retention of the West Bank? Surely the Palestineans have blown it badly & shown that they cannot be trusted with further autonomy in the interim. With the Israeli presence gone, they could have gotten loans and built up their operation. Instead, they went into creative terrorism a la Al Queda. A billion dollars in reparations for the Jewish Gaza residents may bave been a cheap price to pay to learn this. And, indeed, Zahal has a very straight shot at this time, with no settlements to guard. The Lebanon war is far more unsetttling, who knows what mischief Hezbollah has in mind? They have no bottom limit for depravity.
koznitzer 07.13.06 - 5:07 pm

Re: Israel: see better blogs than mine

I'm not ignoring what's going on in Israel; I'm too busy reading everyone else's blogs to find out what's going on.

Verse 2

Courtesy of the kinderlach:

Row, row, row your boat
Gently 'cross the lake
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life's a piece of cake

We're back!

We had a great time, we're exhausted, more later!

Last Shabbat was GREAT!! Our hosts were fantastic, and the walk to shul was like 20 feet! LOL!!

I love this kid!

Salamander: "You are the best Mommy I've ever had!"
Mommy: "Awww. Do you realize I'm the only Mommy you've ever had?"
Salamander: "mmmm-hmmm."

a way with words

Mommy to Salamander: "Oh my goodness, you are gassy..."

Salamander: "I'm not! I'm flabbergasted!"

I am pathetic.

I just can't seem to help myself.

Prepare Now For Jenin II

AbbaGav has this on the IDF moving into Gaza in search of Gilad Shalit:

"Since Israel withdrew completely from Gaza last summer, the IDF has scarcely even set foot there, even as the Palestinians have rained rockets down on surrounding Israeli communities from their newly Jew-free territory. But now, in the wake of the Palestinian invasion across Israeli borders in which a soldier was kidnapped, the IDF is preparing a mission to enter Gaza and hopefully rescue the abducted soldier."

Not every day you see the "before" pics of the homicide bombers burying explosives in a residential area while Palestinian children casually stand around in the background watching.

The word now is that the IDF has entered Gaza. May Gilad Shalit be returned safely to Israel.

Heh heh - We Did It!

It didn't go completely smoothly, and the neighbors' 18 month old ended up in hysterics, but here goes:



Interesting how the kosher ones are probably best eaten!

First, some prep...

How we did it:

I took off the cap and taped a piece of paper snugly around the mouth of the 2-liter bottle. Then I took off the piece of paper and snipped a cut almost all the way through, right above where the mouth would be, where the cardboard would sit to prevent the Mentos from falling in until the right time. I tied a piece of string to the piece of cardboard so it could be yanked out from a distance.



2 kosher Mentos (thank you Shari! She got them from the Rabbi who brought them from Israel!);
2 regular (treif, LOL) Mentos;
5 regular Mentos;
5 cinnamon Mentos.

Here we go!

Diet Coke and Mentos - try this at home?!

B'N this weekend we'll supervise the neighborhood kids and attempt the Diet Coke and Mentos trick (although NOT on the scale attempted here).

Sorry - I had to take the embedded video out - every time I refreshed I got a pop up window for the Active X control. But it's still worth watching, especially if you haven't seen it!

Interestingly, when I was at Walgreen's last night I checked out the Mentos display and they were COMPLETELY sold out! (Well, there were sugar free ones left - mercy on Midwestern diabetics?)

Stay tuned!

Putting the Fun back in Fundie

Rarely a dull moment over at Jack's Shack.

You gotta read the comments.

Shout-out to Bill at The Art of the Rant and to StepIma! HU-AH!

Toying with the Fundies is just immensely satisfying when done right.

Krauthammer on the Gaza Beach Explosion

I don't always care for Charles Krauthammer's columns, but this one is spot on.

An excerpt:

"But there is an even larger question not asked. Whether the rocket bases are near civilian beaches or in remote areas, why are the Gazans launching any rockets at Israel in the first place -- about 1,000 in the past year?

To get Israel to remove its settlers, end the occupation and let the Palestinians achieve dignity and independence? But Israel did exactly that in Gaza last year. It completely evacuated Gaza, dismantled all its military installations, removed its soldiers, destroyed all Israeli settlements and expelled all 7,000 Israeli settlers. Israel then declared the line that separates Israel from Gaza to be an international frontier. Gaza became the first independent Palestinian territory ever.

And what have the Palestinians done with this independence, this judenrein territory under the Palestinians' control? They have used their freedom to launch rockets at civilians in nearby Israeli towns.

Why? Because the Palestinians prefer victimhood to statehood. They have demonstrated that for 60 years, beginning with their rejection of the United Nations decision to establish a Palestinian state in 1947 because it would have also created a small Jewish state next door. They declared war instead.

"...This embrace of victimhood, of martyrdom, of blood and suffering, is the Palestinian disease. They are offered an independent state. They are given all of Gaza. And they respond with rocket attacks into peaceful Israeli towns -- in pre-1967 Israel proper, mind you.

What can Israel do but try to take out those rocket bases and their crews? What would the United States do if rockets were raining into San Diego from across the border with Mexico?

Now look again at that terrible photograph and ask yourself: Who is responsible for the heart-rending grief of that poor Palestinian girl?"

I had the weeeirdest dream.

I dreamed that my husband asked me "what's (our son's) Hebrew name again?" (LOL) and I said "Netilat Yadayim!"

He's 3.5, and knows this bracha extremely well, to the point of getting very upset if someone tries to help him, but hasn't completely mastered (ahem) not speaking until taking a bite of challah, so right now the time period between netilat yadayim amd hamotzi is as small as we can make it!

How old am I?

It's my Hebrew and secular birthday today! Happy Birthday to meeeeee

Shavua tov

It was great, but my 7 year old DD wanted to stay and dance with the teenagers. HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEE

Shabbat shalom!!!

We have a shalosh seudos/motzei Shabbos bat mitzvah to go to, if it doesn't take wading to get there. I'm looking forward to it!

"MOMMY!! YOUR HAND IS ON BACKWARDS!!"

One morning my 3 year old was bouncing on me (and I was letting him), and I had one arm above my head and one below when he said:

"MOMMY!! YOUR HAND IS ON BACKWARDS!!"

Hat tip: parcequilfaut

parcequilfaut: "time release emesis"

LOL!