Jewess With Horns

Oh, hello

2010-08-18T10:30:00.002-04:00

Thanks to Jack for waking me out of my blogging slumber. We've now been here two weeks short of two years. We moved into a new place, so life is much less stressful now. My kids are growing like weeds B"H. Bagel is going into middle school (!!!) and Salamander is starting second grade (and working on 4th grade Brain Quest!). They amaze me.

Hope everyone is doing well iyH.
Chana

A year and three months

2009-11-19T23:45:00.003-05:00

Yes, life is busy, with everything and nothing. Please let me know if you're reading this. I fell off the face of blogland and I can't get up!

Salamander turns 7 Sunday and gets his first Chumash!! *sniff*

More about Clara

2009-02-22T20:45:00.002-05:00

I haven't done any research for a couple years, and I don't know what possessed me motzei Shabbos, but there's some new stuff on the Web since last I looked.

Fred Jernberg was Clara's adoptive father. I didn't realize they had lived in Worcester - I thought Clara and my great-grandfather Charlie Hallgren had moved there after they got married.

The Worcester Directory Containing a General Directory of the Citizens, a Business Directory and the City and County Register 1916

According to the 1910 U.S. census record I found last night, Clara was born in 1891 in PA, not Youngstown as I thought my grandmother had told me, so she was 28 when she died of the Spanish flu. Fred Jernberg's wife's name was Carolina in the census record. My grandmother (who married Clara's son, below) had told me that she was from Youngstown, or visited an aunt there (maybe her real mother?)

My post, edited, from over a year ago...

At least 4 of my (great)-great-grandparents were born in Sweden. Possibly one or two more - my great-grandmother Clara Jernberg was adopted, supposedly by an aunt.

I have always loved this picture of Clara holding my grandfather when he was a baby! It's been said that my mom (may her memory always be for a blessing), and my grandfather (obm), my daughter, and I all look(ed) like Clara.

My great-grandmother Clara, and my grandfather Everett, 1914.
Sadly, Clara died young, during the Spanish flu epidemic, in 1919.
My dear grandfather was a strong, primary role model to me - I loved him dearly and have wonderful memories of him!

I miss my house.

2009-02-09T18:11:00.003-05:00

I miss my house.

I miss my lilacs.

I miss Ohio.

Hanukkah Sameach!

2008-12-25T14:10:00.002-05:00

Not the best quality recording, but it gets very entertaining at 6:00...

Month 2. Gut Moed!

2008-10-16T23:01:00.006-04:00

The kinderlach are still doing great, B"H. The old sukkah is up behind the shared garage, on the shared patio. It's so weird being in our sukkah and then stepping out and NOT being in Ohio... I do miss my house... *sniff*

I LOVE being in a town with such a huge Jewish community, but I miss being familiar with my surroundings. I got a job! Really, the job found me. B"H! Part time, mommy hours, stuff I've done before, for a similar organization.

All the stuff in the financial markets has been craaaazy. Anyone else feel like Moshiach is coming REALLY soon??

Wishing anyone who happens to read this a Shana Tova, esp. that you and yours may be blessed with good health and parnassa!

JWH is now on the east coast

2008-09-09T11:30:00.009-04:00

Hooray. Chana, Bagel and Salamander made it... We finally joined Mr. JWH after a difficult 2 month separation and even more difficult interstate move. Can't say I want to do that again anytime soon... when I moved from Mass. to Ohio, I was 14 and not actually responsible for anything.

But B"H (most of) our stuff arrived safe, WE arrived safe, and the kids have started school and are doing great B"H! Bagel is in a class of WONDERFUL girls - and I stress - girls! NO BOYS! She is VERY HAPPY ABOUT THIS!! LOL...

I found a great chiropractor, which makes me very, very happy. She (SHE! Happy dance!) sent me to a hospital to have x-rays done. This involved driving on a freeway. I've done this a few times here and I DO NOT ENJOY IT.

Summer, interminable summer

2008-08-01T15:57:00.004-04:00

It's the last half hour of camp for the entire summer.

I should be packing, but I'm sitting at the computer in silence, glorious silence...

JWH is relocating...

2008-07-24T22:04:00.009-04:00

That's right... after 22 years (well, 26) in Flyover Country (and literally a lifetime for Mr. JWH), we are making our way out of golus!

(Golus, lovely golus, mesmerizing,
cheaper-by-the-square-foot golus)

We'll be on the second floor of

<--here

WOOT WOOT!! Bring on Banner 17!!

2008-06-18T00:31:00.005-04:00

This is bitterweet for me, because my dear Gramma Ruth passed away last week at the age of 89. I went to see her a couple weeks ago, basically to say goodbye because she had deteriorated so. I told her how much I loved and appreciated her and Grampa, my mom's parents, for being second parents to me - they helped raise me from a very young age.

Grampa taught me many things, including:

1) Root for the Red Sox and whoever's playing the Yankees;

2) Root for the Celtics and whoever's playing the Lakers;

3) Don't be afraid to stick your neck out when you see something going very wrong (I'll never forget walking the dog with him one day, and what an impression it made on me when he stopped some neighbor kids from being cruel to an animal).

Happy Passover from Bagel and the Driveway!

2008-04-24T16:50:00.003-04:00

No, really!

Two years!

2008-04-24T01:29:00.003-04:00

According to Blogger, I've been blogging for two years!

Chag Pesach Sameach!

April Fool's at THE Ohio State...

2008-04-01T23:54:00.002-04:00

May her memory always be for a blessing.

2008-03-24T01:15:00.003-04:00

We buried my beloved mom 10 years ago today. Hard to believe.

She was only 6 weeks away from her 50th birthday. G-d willing I'll be 40 in June. Time marches on...

Anyone want some SNOW??????

2008-03-09T03:00:00.003-04:00

ROTFL!!

Maybe some pics with the kinderlach later.

We're below the snow belt - but we got MORE than Cleveland!

Crazy, crazy, crazy.

obligatory January post

2008-01-13T10:24:00.002-05:00

So, the rest of this month is going to be busier than usual. I am flying out to the northeast solo this week to spend some time with my maternal grandmother and my family. Then I come back to prepare for Shabbos, and then DH, Bagel, Salamander and I will go out to spend some time with Gramma and fam. (B"H for Skybus, frequent flyer miles, and DH's already scheduled biz trip!)

Mom (may her memory always be for a blessing) and I lived with her parents for several years when I was little, from age 2 to age 7, and Gramma has always been a second mother to me, and just as much to me after my mom passed away unexpectedly at 49.

Happy belated Hanukkah!

2007-12-23T19:18:00.000-05:00

Hey Ez! That's a genuine ChocEmp Truffle on that ladder! :)

In memory of the Swedish Chef

2007-10-30T10:53:00.001-04:00

'Chef Tell' Erhardt, early television chef, dies at 63

PHILADELPHIA—Friedman Paul Erhardt, a German-born cook known as "Chef Tell" who was one of America's pioneering television chefs, has died. He was 63.

Erhardt died of heart failure on Friday at his home in Upper Black Eddy, about 25 miles east of Allentown, his family said.

Erhardt's jolly personality, thick German accent and wit made him a fixture on television shows such as Regis and Kathie Lee and comedy skits on Saturday Night Live. He was also said to be the inspiration for the Swedish chef on The Muppet Show.

BoSox in Four, Baby!!!

2007-10-29T00:29:00.000-04:00

Courtesy of boston.com :

Michael Frazier of Hoboken, N.J., sent in this to illustrate Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani's switch-hitter baseball loyalties.

L'Shana Tova!

2007-09-16T00:38:00.002-04:00

Wow, It's been awhile since I posted, LOL.

So, in our shul the little kids go running up to the bima at the end of davening to sing Adon Olam. Salamander (4.5) was up there in front of everyone, holding himself (he had to GO) and doing a step-kick.

Charming, LOL.

Salamander on Cleveland Heights

2007-08-31T14:20:00.001-04:00

In Cleveland Heights this summer, at night, three times I have observed The Other Black-and-White-Adorned Residents! ;)

I have to say, I don't think I've seen a single one in a "wild" OR urban area since I moved from the Cleveland metropolitan area 20+ years ago!

Jack: not a WORD! ;)

Carnival of Bagel Quotes

2007-08-09T11:13:00.001-04:00

I was sifting through a bunch of old emails, and came across a bunch of quotes I'd saved by my now-8 year old daughter, "Bagel". :)

December 2003, age 4.5
"I can't get it. It makes my brains all sweaty."
(5 minutes later) "Look! My brains aren't all sweaty anymore!"

"Mommy - I love my daddy's $10 shoes! I LOVE them!" (quote from the book Caps For Sale, I think)

"I need some salad to help me relax."

In the car on the way to preschool she said, "Mommy, my Madeline doll is broken." I said, it is?
She said, "Yeah, it needs batteries."
Honey, your Madeline doll doesn't need batteries.
"Then how am I going to get it to walk and talk?"
I chuckled and said, she doesn't really do those things - you have to use your imagination and pretend.
"Mommy, can I pretend she has batteries?"

March 2004, almost 5
"I'm not ready to be a grownup. I'm not ready to be an adult. It's not fair. Mommy's too short."

"Thanks, Mom, I really appreciate that." (an unexpected flash of adult thinking)

In the car on the way home from delivering shalach manos-
"Mom, do you know how much I love you?"

"I'm NOT a jelly bean. Don't call me jelly bean!"

"I wish I had a baby sister I REALLY want a baby sister and I want to name her (Bagel) and she can have a haircut like me and..."

"Mom, do you like rubber chickens?"

"I'm not a kitty - I'm just a human."

April 2004 - Bagel turns 5 this month! - Salamander is 18 months...
"Salamander's my brother. He doesn't know very much."
"I could teach him to fly a kite. But I'll need to get a kite first."

police responding to swordfight report find Shakespeare in the park, instead

2007-08-02T09:40:00.001-04:00

Thursday, August 2, 2007 9:22 AM

KETTERING, Ohio (AP) — Romeo slays Tybalt for killing his friend, Mercutio.

Ah, Shakespeare.

Police in this Dayton suburb responded to a report of a swordfight in a public park Tuesday night. They found actors rehearsing a scene from “Romeo and Juliet.”

“Nobody was hurt, except for us from laughing so hard once we figured out why the police, an ambulance and a fire truck pulled up with sirens flashing,” said Dawn Roth-Smith, co-directer of the outdoor production by Playhouse South that opens Saturday.

“Somebody driving by must have seen our rehearsal but missed the big green sign we have up for our play,” Roth-Smith said. “I apologized to the officer for bringing them out for no reason.

He told me I should tell my actors they're doing a great job.”

Beware reports of witches in the park when the same group rehearses “Macbeth” next summer.

Wish I had my bassoon handy last time this happened...

2007-07-26T20:54:00.001-04:00

They are buskers at London's Covent Garden. Comments from YouTube: "It's so nice to see musicians - or any serious artists for that matter - demand respect for their work." "No one should be able to interrupt Carmen."

My assessment: It's a great gag, but a sloppy and unbalanced performance. ;)

Hat tip: Jack

Salamander on bathtime

2007-07-19T15:40:00.001-04:00

DH had been in the shower forever, we had to be somewhere at 10:15, it was 9:45, I had to get the sitter, and Salamander needed a bath.

me: Go tell Daddy you need a bath.

Salamander ran into the bathroom: "Daddy! I need a bath! Can't you see the sign with the bathtub on it?!"

Then he sat in the bathtub while the water ran, yelling,

"It's not enough water.
It's not enough water!
It's not enough water!!
It's not enough water!!"

.

Salamander on Kashrut

2007-07-16T01:18:00.000-04:00

(Salamander is our 4.5 y.o. son)

Me to The Daddy down the basement steps: 'Where's the knife you just used to cut the pizza?'

'Oh, sorry. I put the knife in the dairy dishwasher.'

(We don't have one. I heard wrong - he said dish water!)

'What? You put it _where_??'

'oh, sorry, I thought you said dairy dishwasher.'

Salamander came running from the living room and yelled down the basement steps: 'No, Daddy! The dishwasher is MEAT!'

Empathy and intuition in abused children

2007-06-21T11:05:00.000-04:00

I just posted this as a reply to a post on Ezzie's blog, and decided I'd repost it here for all 3 of my readers (one of whom is Ezzie) (waving).

Children who are abused learn to watch for clues that they are about to be abused. The worse the abuse, the better they get at reading the signs of what's coming so they have lead time to escape to another room, etc (if it's possible). They watch their abusers' body language, facial tics and eyes very carefully.

Many of these children grow up to excel in helping professions, because they have developed great empathy for the underdog and empathize so strongly with those in abuse situations such as what they experienced. They are especially intuitive of the suffering of their patients. Some adults who were severely abused as children develop such sharp intuition, people wonder if they're psychic. They're not; it's just one of the survival mechanisms they developed out of necessity as a child.

I'm going to show this to my kids someday.

2007-06-21T11:04:00.000-04:00

Be happy with your lot.

Hat tip: Ezzie

Hey Jack! Cleveland Rocks!!

2007-06-06T12:17:00.001-04:00

Aaaah, the glory days of the Celtics! I graduated from high school outside of Cleveland in 1986*, but I grew up in Massachusetts. That was one glorious spring!!

Not only have I seen the parquet floor of the old Boston Gahden, but my high school graduation was held in Richfield Coliseum (both of which are no longer with us).

Hmmm... My high school band marched at halftime at a Browns-Raiders (THE REAL BROWNS, TYVM!) game in Browns Stadium... but I've been to Jacobs Field and it's still standing! LOL...

*my (secular) birthday is this Shabbos. Anyone remember what I turned last year? It was a riddle ;)

Woohoo!!

2007-06-03T12:18:00.000-04:00

GO CAVS!!!!!!!!!!

Salamander dancing

2007-05-27T18:46:00.000-04:00

When I first turned on this CD today, Salamander came running and said, "You hear that music? It's called shalaseudas!" (The choir is Shalsheles Jr.!)

It's been 10 years...

2007-05-26T23:26:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was our 10 year wedding anniversary. Mazel tov to us.

This is the beginning of some significant 10 year anniversaries over the next several months, and this is one of the most painful. My mother died suddenly and unexpectedly, 9 months after our wedding, two months shy of her 50th birthday. I was 29 years old and it shattered my world. Since my mom lived 800 miles away and we only saw her once a year, our wedding day was the last time I saw my mom alive. I was having a real hard time trying not to think about one anniversary when thinking about the other yesterday. I hope DH understood.

Baruch HaShem we were blessed with our first child, our beautiful Bagel, just over a year after Mom died. Bagel's middle name is in memory of my mom.

The Salamander and kosher Mentos

2007-05-14T16:40:00.000-04:00

Hooray! I get to post about the Salamander AND kosher Mentos! :)

I gave Salamander and Bagel permission to share some pink grapefruit Mentos (which I can't stand), and Salamander came up to me and said, "What's the bracha for Mentos?"

I could eat him up. (minus the pink grapefruit Mentos!)

~

Oh... (blinking)... I guess I was on a break...

2007-05-14T15:09:00.000-04:00

Hello. Things got busy there for a couple weeks. (Scratching head) The JIBs are STILL going on???

Salamander, my 4.5 year old, thanks to whatever was discussed in playgroup today, decided that he's going to call us by our Hebrew names. So now I'm Ima and he's Avi. Too cute. (His actual Hebrew name is longer than his English name, so I went with brevity.)

"Ima, do you know what exhilarating means?"
"Um... exciting?"
"No. Super-DUPER EXTRA exciting!"

It took me a few minutes to get signed in to write this, and by then I'd forgotten exactly what he said. So I went into the other room and said, "What does 'exhilarating' mean again?"

Confidently but deliberately, he said, "super, duper, extra exciting."

(Yes, I let him watch Pinky Dinky Do and some others on Noggin. He cracks me up.)

~

Another blow to the arts in Pakistan

2007-04-26T22:37:00.000-04:00

Pakistan bans satire about burqas

POSTED: 8:56 a.m. EDT, April 26, 2007
ISLAMABAD, Pakistan (Al-Reuters) -- Irate Islamist lawmakers have persuaded the Pakistan government to stop a theatre group staging a satirical play about the burqa, the all-covering head-to-toe garment worn by conservative Muslim women.

"Burqavaganza" played earlier this month during an arts festival in Lahore, the eastern city regarded as Pakistan's cultural capital, and home to some of the most liberal and most puritanical parts of the Muslim nation's society.

"The burqa is part of our culture. We can't allow anyone to ridicule our culture," Culture Minister Sayed Ghazi Gulab Jamal told the National Assembly.

The minister announced Thursday that the government had barred the play, which had already ended its run in Lahore, from being performed in other Pakistani cities.

Veiled female parliamentarians and Islamist lawmakers cheered Jamal and thumped desks in approval, while trading barbs with women from both the ruling party and liberal opposition parties.

Described by critics as a romp, the play sought to highlight the impact of the veil on society, by showing how wearers use it as a way to hide what they want to keep private.

In the play, young men and women wore the burqa to go out on secret dates, and it featured a character called Burqa bin Badin.

The play also showed a burqa-clad married couple put to death for making love in public.

Predictably, religious conservative Pakistanis did not find it funny, going as far as to describe the play as blasphemous, a crime in Pakistan that can carry a death sentence.

"They have committed blasphemy against the Prophet (Mohammad)," Razia Aziz, a female lawmaker from the Islamist opposition alliance, told the National Assembly.
She demanded the government take action against people responsible for staging "Burqavaganza".

Mehnaz Rafi, a lawmaker for the ruling Pakistan Muslim League from Lahore, opposed the government giving in to the Islamists.

"A few people cannot dictate affairs of the state. Every person has the right to lead his life his own way. A few people cannot snatch freedom from society," Rafi said.

Shahid Nadeem, the director of the play, told the weekly Friday Times that the play aimed to raise awareness about a trend to force women to wear the veil.

Progressive Pakistanis have become increasingly shocked by how bold religious radicals have become in spreading their Taliban-style values in society.

Last month, burqa-clad female students from an Islamic school, or madrasa, raided a brothel in the capital, Islamabad, and abducted three women. The women were released only after they were made to repent before the media.

Students from Lal Masjid, or Red Mosque, and its adjoining madrasa have also pressured music and video shop owners to wind up their businesses as part of their anti-vice campaign.

PTSD from Pesach?

2007-04-22T16:16:00.000-04:00

I don't want to be asked how my Yom Tov was. It was long and traumatizing. When I say I'm very happy it's over, I don't want to see the looks of horror and watch people tiptoe away silently (OK, I'm being a bit of a drama queen here). I can handle the spiritual work and can immerse myself in it completely - it's the physical work that makes me cry.

Did anyone read the Dear Abby-type letter in the current Jewish Press from a man whining that his wife needs to remember that "men have needs too" after a day of cleaning and preparing for Pesach etc.?? That maybe if they just "gave the man some attention" at the end of the day, they wouldn't be tempted to commit the aveira of buying porn etc.?? (I am paraphrasing very loosely here!)

Try taking the money you spend on that filth and using it to hire a CLEANING LADY so your wife might be SLIGHTLY LESS THAN DEAD at the end of her fifth day in a row of cleaning up a year of your chometz!!!!

Don't get me STARTED.

Here's another hint, from the beach!

2007-04-05T02:56:00.000-04:00

from here, due east is the northern border of Portugal.

It was windy, it was cold, and we went to four others and had a great time!

So. Where were we?

2007-03-29T23:08:00.001-04:00

Guess where we've been instead of cleaning for Passover?!

No, really. Bagel and I were just gone for 3 days. We went to see a family member who is moving overseas, but while we were there, we went here. Who knows where "here" is?

(The sign below the Rt 6 sign is key - click on the pic)

Rental Car Riddle

2007-03-29T22:49:00.000-04:00

When is a door not a door?

Hint:

Oh, Look!

2007-03-23T17:00:00.000-04:00

There's a piece of popcorn on the floor!

*yawn*

Ugh! I am SO busy getting ready for Pesach, I just

2007-03-18T16:38:00.000-04:00

don't have time to post!

Salamander on Jewish Music, Boys and Fathers

2007-03-02T16:07:00.000-05:00

In the car we usually have two or three CDs of Jewish music - Yeshiva Boys Choir, Shalsheles Jr. (boys), Moscow Jewish Choir (men), or some combination thereof.

A couple of the MJC songs are sung by very high male voices (falsetto) and Salamander thought they were boys (which I didn't understand right away). When a new song came on yesterday, he said, "No! I want the Jewish boys!"

Since I wasn't paying attention, I said, "Do you want me to put on Kol Hamispalel?" (The first song on the YBC CD)

"No! I want to listen to the Jewish Boys!"

"OK..." (this went back and forth a few times) Finally out of frustration, Salamander said, "I want to listen to the Jewish BOYS! I don't WANT to listen to Jewish fathers!"

Midvale! II

2007-02-26T23:55:00.000-05:00

I work very part-time in a small office. I like to be there when no one's around, so I actually get stuff done, LOL.

So I was at work late last night, after Maariv. Time to leave - absolutely, positively could NOT find my keys. Didn't throw them away, etc. So, for the 2% in municipal tax I pay for the privilege of working in this self-important 'burb, I called the PD and asked them to come help me look in the parking lot since I didn't have a flashlight.

They were out there, all right. In the ignition. Safely locked in the car, LOL. Oops...

Flashback to October

2007-02-22T19:52:00.000-05:00

I came across something interesting at Toner Mishap (my first visit there) that I just had to abscond with for my own personal amusement... click on the label "a LOT of hot air" to read it. :)

A great missionary-busting story (actually, two)

2007-02-13T13:13:00.000-05:00

Must Gum Addict has a great comment at Jack And The Missionary. I can only link you to the comments section he posted to, but not the actual comment (at 2/09/2007 08:40:00 AM). And I can't even link you to his blog, because he doesn't have one (a wandering J-blogger?).

I went to yeshiva in the Midwest (no, not Cleveland, but close enough) and one two such fellas knocked on the dorm house and we let them in. We even made them tea. Then three of us sat down with them and the fun began. There was one bochur in our yeshiva who actually knew a lot about not only their religion, but many (like real in depth stuff) -- and he really took them on a whirlwind tour.

I felt sorry for those two when they finally left about an hour later. The look on their faces was like when a child finds out that Santa Claus isn't real after all...

The BEST part? When they got up to leave, the bochur said, "hey, you forgot your Bible..." and one replied, "that's ok, I don't think I'll be needing it..."

Haveil Havalim #106 - let's try to rent a bassoon in Nahariya

2007-02-12T03:13:00.000-05:00

The Terrible Twos edition at Jack's...

Since Jack loves to diss Cleveland (but will settle for dissing Ohio), he couldn't resist my Weather Forecast for Hell.

Treppenwitz has a great story... Renting a cello in Israel

For our next trick, let's try to rent a bassoon in Nahariya. (I did this just to get my trackback to stand out, but it's not working, LOL.)

Got bassoons? In Israel I'd have a better chance of harvesting a didjeridoo, LOL...

Actually, check this out. How cool is this? The Israel Kibbutz Orchestra
.

Salamander writing shapes

2007-02-12T01:45:00.000-05:00

Yes, I said that write!

I finally figured out what he said!

"And the t... and the r... and the i... *sigh*... I love lower case..."

Salamander sings Yiru just like YBC

2007-02-12T00:35:00.000-05:00

See?

YBC sings Yiru (#3)

Salamander:

Salamander in Target / Lysdexics Rejoice

2007-02-08T22:58:00.000-05:00

The kids and I were in Target a couple days ago, and as I was paying at the register, Salamander said, "What's this?"

"What's what, honey?"

"THIS!" (This thing I'm pointing to, Mama? If I knew, Mama, why would I ask? I'm four and your son, remember?)

I looked over and saw that he was pointing to the side of the shopping cart where it says "Target".

I said, "Oh. You tell me - sound it out."

And he did! "Tarrrr - get! Target!"

Mama and big sister Bagel were very proud of him. :)

In other news: I have turned word verification off.

SNOW DAYS!!

2007-02-08T11:09:00.000-05:00

Well, not really. Two "too cold to be outside in the morning" days and one snow day.

So Bagel, Salamander and I went to visit friends a couple hours away in a city that is just as cold but has more snow. :) Their dad was on the east coast on business until last night anyhow, so it was an especially tempting opportunity to get out of Dodge!

We went to the science center (took Bagel's little friend, ummm... Salami) and a children's museum (Salami had to go back to school, but my kids had a blast).

Got home at 1am this morning. I had no business driving home last night, but Bagel DID have to go to school this morning, and she gets to leave early for a dentist appointment.

My 2000 Sienna has been voicing its displeasure with the persistent below-freezing weather. It won't start in the morning, or if it's been sitting outside for a few hours (like at the Children's Museum, ugh...) But if I push in and release the emergency brake it tends to wake up. Since I had an incident about a month ago where the van wouldn't turn off (OFF!), my dad thinks it's part of the key something or other (not the ignition). I don't think I want to go so far away from home with the kids again until it's fixed...

Life in the big city, LOL.

Weather Forecast for Hell

2007-02-05T16:40:00.000-05:00

Oh, dear. Guess what hath frozen over?

Watch your back: it could be a good week for ex-boyfriends (or other exes), business rivals, mothers-in-law, Dick Cheney, etc.

Someone tell Baltimore they're in the Super Bowl!

2007-02-04T20:10:00.000-05:00

Look right under the picture in each screen shot, and the posting time... you may need to click on the images (I made them as big as I could)...

OK. I'm just messing now.

2007-02-03T23:34:00.000-05:00

Post #2 using old Blogger. ;)

Too bad I have nothing interesting to say. Well, that's not really true. I just can't post it. ;)

Nyeah nyeah - I can still post in old Blogger!

2007-02-02T16:23:00.000-05:00

Whoever said you can't, lied!

pppfffffbbbbtttttttt

The Scream Heard 'Round the World

2007-01-26T14:45:00.000-05:00

This morning I went to our kosher market to get stuff for Shabbos, and there was a full-size semi parked in front. When I was done shopping, I asked the cashier where another worker was. "oh, he's out front unloading the Passover Truck."

NOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOO

Indexed!

2007-01-25T00:32:00.000-05:00

This blog is so clever - a must read!

At last they meet! Cool Yiddishe Mama and Jewess With Horns!

2007-01-21T03:01:00.000-05:00

The Salamander on Sun and Snow

2007-01-19T14:27:00.000-05:00

We got a dusting of snow this morning, but the sun came out and the snow had melted off the roads.

"Oh-Oh! The sun is covering up the snow!"

Quoth the blogger, `Evermore!'

2007-01-17T11:38:00.000-05:00

Wow. Kudos to the only way i know, who has written a blogger's tribute to Edgar Allen Poe in honor of his and Kasamba's* birthdays. A must read!

Hat tip: Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie Ezzie

*whose posts are no small potatoes either!

The Salamander Speaks Again

2007-01-12T12:34:00.000-05:00

I was just in the basement checking laundry, and the Salamander was screaming down the stairs something I couldn't hear because of the noise of the machines, and I kept yelling, " I can't hear you, I'll be right back up!"

When I got up the stairs he said, "I love you."

I said, "I love you, too."

He said, "I just very, very love you."

I said, "You are my sweet boy!"

He said, "I want a bread and cream cheese sandwich with two pieces toasted on a napkin."

I said, "Can you say 'please'?"

Who can make this stuff up?

Lean On Me

2007-01-05T10:38:00.002-05:00

Have a friend right up the road you can call? Are you a friend like this to someone? This makes me cry. (But I'm that way too.)

Lean On Me - Billy Withers

Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow.
But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.
Lean on me when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long
'til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.

Please swallow your pride
if I have things you need to borrow.
For no one can fill those of your needs
that you won't let show.

You just call on me brother when you need a hand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.

Lean on me when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long
'til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.

You just call on me brother when you need a hand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.

If there is a load you have to bear that you can't carry,
I'm right up the road. I'll share your load if you just call me.

Call me (if you need a friend)
Call me...

Happy Hanukkah...edited

2006-12-21T20:17:00.000-05:00

I've made some videos private and others just taken out completely. Sorry. I do this every once in awhile when I realize I have TMI up. I have a couple reasons in particular this time, one being I've never had someone find me by searching Google for "how to k i l l a jewess" before.

Charming.

Thanks to those of you who looked and enjoyed!

Rant: There is no such thing as Judeo-Christian

2006-12-21T12:06:00.000-05:00

OK. I am with Jack. This time of year makes me cranky.

Any other time of the year, the word "Judeo-Christian" makes my roll my eyes at the very least - while the basic premise may be that of "inclusiveness" or "tolerance" (or, let's face it, "marketing"), IMNSHO it's preferable and more intellectually honest to write "Jewish and/or Christian".

But having just seen a reference to "Judeo-Christian holidays", I am feeling the need...

A person, because of his/her parentage or immigration status, can be Israeli-American, Russian-American, African-American, etc. A person can feel strong bonds to their ancestry or place of birth and also their adopted country.

But a person can only practice one religion (and be intellectually honest about it).

"Judeo-Christian holidays"? Let's see, at this time of year, those would be... Hanukkah and Christmas.

Hanukkah is about the Jewish victory over the Greeks. It was our victory over assimilation. The Greeks wanted to wipe out the Jews.

Christmas is about the birth of the Christian deity, who Christians actively recruit non-Christians, especially Jews, to worship. I mean, that is Christian doctrine - no matter what kind of Christian theology you're talking about, they believe you're going to hell if you don't believe in Jesus. Jews are still (as always) fighting our battle for survival because Christians, too, ultimately want to wipe out the Jews.

So, when I, as a Jew, hear "Judeo-Christian", excuse me for wanting to hurl.

(donning my asbestos underwear)

(I reserve the right to dispose of nasty comments - it's still my blog)

BTW, Bagel's concert is a selection in

2006-12-21T01:28:00.000-05:00

The 2006 Blogger Christmahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert!

Bagel's Choir Concert Today!

2006-12-20T15:56:00.000-05:00

She is in the 2nd-5th grade choir at our city's Orthodox day school. They performed at the Statehouse today! She is in the front row, third from the right. Her little brother Salamander also makes a cameo, LOL.

This clip is "Ocho Candelikas" and "Light a Candle".

(sorry - time for some housecleaning!)

Karaoke With The Salamander

2006-12-15T13:37:00.000-05:00

The kids listen to this all the time in the car - he would have sung much louder if I had been singing instead of lip synching!

Hey Ezzie - there's a message for you at about the 2.5 minute mark ;)

(sorry - housecleaning time! Besides, my blog's been getting a ton of hits for the name of the song, which I think is weird)

OK, OK, OK!!!!!

2006-12-12T23:39:00.000-05:00

I know. I resemble this video. LOL!! :)

Salamander Davening?!

2006-12-11T16:19:00.000-05:00

If you saw it... it was cute :)

Hila tagged me - and it's a doozie, LOL

2006-12-09T22:11:00.000-05:00

Toooooooooo much information!!!

Salamander on hair

2006-12-03T13:38:00.000-05:00

"I'm having a bad hair day!"

Shavua tov

2006-12-02T18:53:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to put something up. I did force myself to go to shul today. It was a nice sunny day, but reeeally cold. I'm just glad we don't have snow yet!

More news

2006-11-28T14:34:00.000-05:00

Grandma died around 9:15 this morning. She was a happy, gentle, kind soul. I loved her dearly and will always carry with me many special memories of her from my childhood and beyond.

Family News

2006-11-27T16:41:00.000-05:00

My uncle died Saturday afternoon in Massachusetts. I got the call Sunday morning. (They "forgot" to call me Saturday night. Thanks.) Half the family here left Saturday afternoon and arrived there Sunday morning.

Sunday afternoon, the nursing home where Grandma is (here) called my dad's to say that family should come immediately. What family is left that didn't go to Mass., including me (they actually called me this time, shock), went up. (My uncle who died is Grandma's son-in-law.)

By the time I got done yelling at my husband for taking both sets of keys with him, a friend showed up to give me a ride to see Grandma. She is not really conscious. She is 90 and has Alzheimer's and cancer. Add some rough family dynamics on top of that and it's just a whole "thing". (And none of them are Jewish, don't forget...) Already the behavior of some of these people has me feeling like *I* need to admit myself to detox.

So, I won't be around so much...

Wanna hear me play the bassoon?

2006-11-26T02:34:00.000-05:00

Well, someday, when I figure out how to post MP3 files, you just may, LOL.

Blogger 1, Chana 0.

Midvale!!

2006-11-24T13:43:00.000-05:00

So, a couple weeks ago, I ran into a friend at Borders, and when I turned around to leave through what I throught was the exit, I instead found myself in a dead end of windows and bookshelves.

I probably turned ten shades of red, and do you think my friend had mercifully turned around and walked away and missed my flaming faux pas? Noooo.

I turned around, said "Midvale!" (because that's what my husband and I have done for years whenever we've done something stupid), and there stood my friend, staring at me with the goofiest grin, which I returned as I tried to muster some shred of dignity and leave before someone noticed my shirt tag stuck out or the toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe...

Cartoon hat tip: SWFM

Happy 4th Birthday Salamander!!

2006-11-22T02:18:00.000-05:00

Momma Loves You!!

The number of the day is... FOUR!
Bagel lost tooth #4 this morning!

We saw Blue Man Group!! (link)

2006-11-21T23:58:00.000-05:00

And "Met" All 3 of Them After The Show!!!!

Isn't he kind of creepy looking?! It was great though - they were totally in character at the meet & greet. They did not speak, but "signed" ticket stubs, drum sticks (like mine - they dropped a whole bunch of stuff like that off the stage - you had to be there) with blue paint from their heads! There were even a few kids, and the Blue Men were patient with all.

Pictures and Meet and Greet passes courtesy of Jan and Andy from Indianapolis, a couple we met who were across the aisle. They noticed how much we were enjoying the show. Yes, we just about fell over when they offered the passes to us!

We also met Peter Moore, who sings Sing Along, one of my favorite brooding BMG tunes... ba da, da, da... da da, da, da.... we actually had a very interesting discussion about the GIG PIG. Yeah, LOL. It is a new contraption that was used during Tracy Bonham's set by the drummer. It's basically a portable drum set. It has 3 or 4 cymbals that telescope up from a box with 3 or 4 drum heads that looked about the size of small practice pads, maybe. We assumed it's electronic, but it's not. That was the most amazing part to us - it's actually a box that they set up mikes next to, but the amount of equipment to schlep in and out is shrunk down to almost nothing!

Chana has found food and entertainment in/and possibly Gan Eden

2006-11-20T02:50:00.002-05:00

Tags: Mentos Blue Man Group
Hey, Ezzie! I found it first this time

"This is the video that is played before Blue Man Group's stage entrance on the How To Be A Megastar Tour 2.0. I features Blue Man Group music, with the guys from Eepybird performing some stunning Mentos and soda experiments."

I was getting drinks when they started playing this, and my husband called me and yelled at me on my cell phone, LOL!

Previous Diet Coke and Mentos posts:

The relatively new one, thanks to Ezzie (bowing deeply)

The Catholic Church weighs in on nutrition issues regarding Diet Coke and Mentos

Our original plan and a link to the original, super-dee-duper, what-began-it-all video at eepybird.com

First, some prep... (because, after all, this was a well-planned operation)

Heh heh - We Did It! (Interesting how the kosher ones are probably best eaten!)

Diet Coke and Mentos with the Neighbors Part 2 - Boooooooo

A Side Note: Pink Grapefruit Mentos are disgusting. I don't care if they're kosher.

Fiiiiinally!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-14T23:33:00.000-05:00

It's only been 9.5 years since the first one...

Mazel tov to us! :)

Memo to fellow Americans: GO VOTE TODAY!!!!

2006-11-07T10:58:00.000-05:00

If you don't, you have no right to complain about politics, and I don't want to hear it.

New Mentos and Diet Coke video

2006-11-05T00:11:00.000-05:00

Yes, I am slipping... I only found this because of EZZIE!

The obsession continues, LOL!

UPDATE: I HAVE KOSHER MENTOS!!! If it weren't so flipping cold outside, I'd do it again! (This link is to the June archive; there are five posts about our Diet Coke and Mentos escapades on our driveway. Yes, we and the neighbors had Way Too Much Fun (TM).)

Hat Tip: Rafi G via Ezzie

Guess Where We Went Today!

2006-10-29T23:59:00.000-05:00

(I got the stuck parking meter! Woohoo!)

Salamander had the best time tailing Uncle Moishy during the parade - and I couldn't tell you where Bagel was - there were at least 5 families from our city at the concert, so she may have gone off to find some friends for all I know!

I don't know if the last pic does Salamander justice - he has quite a mischievous look on his face!

NEW URL!

2006-10-23T18:30:00.000-04:00

FrumpyChic has been dumped! ;)

I am now Jewess With Horns (no spaces) (dot) blogspot (dot) com (which you can see if you are reading this!).

I have such a small readership that I am not worried about the word getting out, LOL...

I've been wanting to do this for some time, but AbbaGav's post about blog names finally pushed me into doing it!

Uncle Moishy THIS SUNDAY!!!!!!!

2006-10-23T11:02:00.000-04:00

I just found out that we are in driving distance of an Uncle Moishy show THIS SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!

wahoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Salamander Speaks

2006-10-20T11:31:00.000-04:00

The Salamander just sidled up to me and said, "You're my best friend!"

Of course, I gave him a hug and saw, "awwww... you're mine too!"

"Yeah, you, and Daddy, and (Bagel)!"

He is my sweet boy.

Actually, I think he just really wanted to use the computer, LOL...

I have been AWOL ... a lot has been distracting me from blogland... I am so drained from waiting to hear about the next and final step... I know that it is in Hashem's hands (and three rabbis, honestly now!)... but that doesn't make the waiting any easier...

I love Simchas Torah!!!!

2006-10-17T00:30:00.000-04:00

...but I have to tell you, I'm glad it's all over!!

Hey

2006-10-11T01:48:00.000-04:00

I'm around. I had a major happy cleaning day yesterday, LOL. Tonight we had a showing of Ushpizin at our shul. I liked it so much I bought it at Amazon dot com.

Tekiah!

2006-10-04T15:53:00.000-04:00

It would be so cool to rattle the windows of the shul with the shofar. I could blow a mean tekiah gedolah. Hey, a bassoon is eight feet long, and that's a lot of hot air!

Updated February 22, 2007: I just came across this at Toner Mishap, which I just visited for the first time:

Might I venture to make the distinction: Nice Jewish bassoonists...

It's from YidGear.

Poll: Is second grade old enough for a sleepover?

2006-09-29T11:55:00.000-04:00

I realize this will be completely unscientific and anecdotal since my readership is small, but that's OK. My 7.5 yo daughter "Bagel" has been invited to a birthday sleepover by a classmate she's known since preschool. Bagel is excited about it, but truthfully, I'm not fond of this girl - she's allowed to be too mouthy to her parents, and Bagel has come home talking about "Fashion" stuff they've talked about that IMHO is too old for them.

What do you think?

Sent to me by email

2006-09-26T13:41:00.000-04:00

I have CDO. It's like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, only in alphabetical order like it should be.

L'Shana Tova 5767

2006-09-24T22:27:00.000-04:00

Shalom chaverim! I hope you had a good Yom Tov. I slept through most of mine. No, I'm not kidding. I have been utterly exhausted. I have been a bit anemic for awhile, but my latest labs were much better. The sheer amount of stress I've been under lately is utterly ridiculous. DH said, "I haven't seen you sleep this much since you were pregnant!" It's STRESS, buddy. Get off my case! (Hmmm, snapping at spouse. Check.)

Grape Nuts and Trail Mix Grape Nuts (if it's called that) have the most iron of any type of food I've found per serving, and it's definitely the easiest delivery system, LOL. Yep, me and my nuts and twigs. Yippee. I have lost five pounds. Not that you can tell. LOL.

To everyone, a happy, healthy, prosperous New Year. And, to paraphrase a quote from Sara Yocheved Rigler's current article on aish.com: "...if, as Rosh Hashana draws near, we realize to our chagrin that we have few spiritual achievements to report, it's still not too late. The ten days between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, called "The Ten Days of Repentance," are an ideal time to score some spiritual goals. The deadline for submissions to our spiritual alum magazine is Yom Kippur."

About my childhood and my mom, the short version

2006-09-07T12:51:00.000-04:00

Inspired by cruisin-mom

My parents divorced when I was 2, and between ages 2-7 Mom & I lived with her parents. Those were charmed years for me. Suburban house, beautiful neighborhood with kids my age, and nurturing grandparents, most notably a wonderful, jolly grandfather who was the father I didn't know (who was abusive to my mother, so I'm actually glad that he left).

I imagine my mom was dying for her independence. When I was 7 we moved into an apartment about a mile away. Unfortunately, I became a "latchkey kid". I wasn't allowed to answer the phone, go outside, or be with my friends. On the weekends my mother was too tired to arrange for me to spend time with friends from the old neighborhood. I was in prison until I basically escaped when I was 14.

I moved 800 miles away to live with my father. It was a very painful time, and I did not see my mother, and barely spoke to her, for over five years.

We reconciled when I was living at college (and less under the thumb of my father and stepmonster - another abusive situation, but actually far worse), she got remarried, and we had a great adult-to-adult relationship for several years.

My mom passed away very suddenly in 1997, when I was 29 and she was 49. The last time I saw her was on my wedding day, 9 months earlier. It was a huge shock, compounded by the fact that I'd lost those 5 years when I'd gone from the frying pan to the fire...

When we go back to visit both sides of my family, we drive by both places to show the kids "where Mommy grew up". Like cruisin-mom, I have come so close to knocking on the doors so, so many times. On the door of the house to reminisce about my charmed childhood that was snatched away, and on the door of the apartment to dispense with the pain and sadness that have haunted me for years and years...

A couple days ago, I received from my (former?) stepdad three boxes "from storage". They are filled with pictures and negatives, dating back to when Mom was a child. Many I've never seen before. What a shock to see pictures of ME that I've never seen before! I showed my daughter a picture of me at about her age and she said, "that looks just like me!" What a riot!

There are many pictures of the "charmed" years, there are pictures of the apartment where the walls ooze the pain and oppression of those years, and many pictures remind me of the recent post at Beyond BT Embarrassed by My Mother’s Photo Album .

After going though just a little bit, I had to take a break and reassess. I've decided that the first time I go through all of them I'll make three piles: 1) keepers (happy memories), 2) keep but put away (bittersweet or unhappy memories that I can't bear to throw away because of who's in the picture or whatever) and 3) circular file (pictures I never, ever want to see again).

Video Of The Day - Diapers

2006-08-30T11:12:00.000-04:00

Sorry about the quote at the end - but it is a good video!...

Rant about airlines and deodorant

2006-08-28T09:33:00.001-04:00

OK. I understand that the airlines are trying to prevent what almost happened over the Atlantic from happening.

BUT.

My husband was out of town on business all week. His flight was delayed twice Friday before being canceled.

He stood in line with everyone else who was trying to get on the 8:30pm flight... only he was just trying to get his luggage and get out of there so he could get on the commuter rail to spend Shabbat with a family we know, BEFORE candlelighting.

They refused to release his luggage, and by the time he'd stood in line and been abused (like everyone else) by the employees, he didn't have time to catch the train.

He spent $100 and an hour in a cab to get to his Shabbat destination, with TWO MINUTES to spare before candlelighting!! (B"H!!)

He got home yesterday at 6:30pm... the kids were ecstatic, and I was mostly relieved.

Since he had no toiletries (or clean clothes for that matter), Motzei Shabbat he went to CVS and bought some. His host family was kind enough to make him as comfortable as possible, of course.

But when he flew home, security made him THROW AWAY the deodorant he had purchased the night before and used once or twice. That he HAD to purchase because they refused to release his luggage. Etc. etc...

&^#^#*%+$)$%_(*$%

All Your Fakes Are Belong To Us

2006-08-24T12:12:00.000-04:00

Jawa went and did it. YEAH!

Hat tip: LGF

They're going BAAAA-aaaack!!

2006-08-23T10:42:00.000-04:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

It's the first day of school!

Israel Shelves Plan to Pull Out Of Settlements In West Bank

2006-08-23T00:06:00.000-04:00

GOOD.

Read the whole article here...

JERUSALEM, Aug. 22 -- The Israeli government's plan to dismantle some Jewish settlements in the West Bank and redraw the country's borders is being shelved at least temporarily, a casualty of the war in Lebanon, government officials said.

The plan, which propelled Prime Minister Ehud Olmert to victory in March elections and was warmly endorsed by President Bush as a way of solving Israel's conflict with the Palestinians, is no longer a top priority, Olmert told his ministers last weekend, according to one of his advisers.

Instead, the government must spend its money and efforts in northern Israel to repair the damage from the war and strengthen the area in case fighting breaks out again, Olmert said.

"I've decided to invest most of my energy and the government's energy in rehabilitating the north," Olmert said Monday in the northern community of Kiryat Shemona.

"This is a national new priority. It takes precedence for the moment over realignment" of the settlements, Miri Eisin, an adviser to Olmert, said Tuesday. "At the moment there will be no withdrawal."

My Happy Place

2006-08-21T00:14:00.000-04:00

Where the sky is blue, the grass is green, the humidity is low, the kids are fed, the tempii are moderate, the reeds are working, and the bassoonists are happy and NOT playing Bruckner or Beethoven #4.

Ahhh... this is awesome! I am not in this recording, but it brings back memories of my college days... I only had the chance to play bassoon trios my freshman year. I am going to try to get my junior and senior recitals transferred from tape to CD before they turn to dust in the basement.

Wicked Cool!! Two Contrabassoons!!

2006-08-21T00:07:00.000-04:00

"And now, for something Completely Different!"

The 2 Contras - Susan Nigro and Burl Lane

Sample Tracks - If you listen to nothing else - check out the Impish Imp - what a riot!

Yes, this is the kind of stuff I listened to in college. No, the underclassmen had no idea I also liked classic rock. Yes, my classmates thought I was weird.

It's not the hand cream, stupid

2006-08-13T14:04:00.000-04:00

or the contact lens solution, or the mascara, or the Chanel perfume, or the baby powder, in the diaper bag carried by the sweating WASP mother dragging three kids under 5 through Logan.

It's the RADICAL ISLAMISTS WHO WANT TO KILL US.

Sorry. Not PC. But geez people, they've told us as much. Do you think they're joking? Wake up, America. We've got our own Gaza, and it's in Dearborn. OUT!!

Racial profiling? Yeah. They only want to kill non-Muslims. I'd call that racial profiling.